by BREANA BACON
I come to you today as humbled, confused and stressed as I possibly could be.
Thanks to another Shonda-Day, I am exhausted from too much drama exposure. From the first 10 minutes, Shonda has already lifted me to a level of distress that Olivia Pope herself couldn’t even fix.
First of all, I have said it before and I will say it until the episode when he is killed off: Rowan AKA Eli Pope is the SHADIEST character on this show. Blowing up Jake’s car? In the first two minutes? I didn’t even get a chance to digest my dinner and I’m absolutely positive that neither did any of you.
Luckily Jake From State Farm’s stint as Command of B-613 prepared him for the murderous foolishness of Eli. I wonder if that experience is gonna end up coming back to bite him in worse ways than Daddy Pope’s bomb threats. The way he walked away from that blown-up car was very Angela Bassett/Waiting to Exhale-like. I approve Jake, I approve.
Now, moving on to the hot mess that is Karen Grant. I don’t know about all of you who watched last night’s episode but I didn’t recognize Karen at all. Maybe it was the nudity. *shrugs*
Anyway, Karen, honey, slipping Secret Service, jacking a private jet, getting turnt out of your mind, and making a sex tape with two strangers is VERY bold and VERY stupid. YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER. Unforgivable. Simply UNFORGIVABLE.
We get that you’re angry that your brother is dead. We get that your mother has gone off the deep end. We even get that you are a teenage girl holed up in a boarding school but you are about to be considered crazy just like your mother. Get it together, Karen. Your dad is trying to run a country and his household. You need proof? See below:
People, Mellie has lost her mind. I mean REALLY lost her mind. Grabbing Olivia’s arm like that, Mellie girl, you almost lost your hand there. Olivia is classy but as we saw in last week’s episode, she will not hesitate to snatch somebody up. So Mellie. Sweet, drunk, delusional Mellie. DO NOT put your hands on Olivia Pope, SHE WILL CUT YOU.
Fitz, she’ll cut you too so please don’t think grabbing Liv will ever happen again. Shonda, if it happens again, we will riot. That’s a promise. All this domestic violence happening in the entertainment industry has already got us women riled up and angry so seeing our favorite TV couple get physical did not make us happy. Get it together and cool it, Fitz. Don’t make your fans get out of character.
There are certain things in the world that really grind my gears and parents that exploit their kids and other people’s kids are one of them. There is a special place in hell for Karen’s Eiffel Tower friend’s parents. Demanding $3 million in exchange for the video of your child having sex with another child is despicable. GET IT TOGETHER.
And as I conclude, I will again repeat: there is NO ONE in the complete cast of Scandal as shady as Eli Pope. Was I the only one who screamed out “NO!” in slow motion when Rowan walked into the room? He made Tom turn on the one person who wanted to help him! I am completely flustered, flabbergasted, and appalled at the shade. Poor Tom. Poor Karen. Poor Liv. And poor Gladiators. Pour two glasses of wine, Gladiators, because after that episode, we’re ALL going to need a while to get it together.